DZL RADIO - Ask Better Questions

The Player's Dictionary

Asking Better Questions

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(posted 05/07/09 - updated ----)

"You Can Open Up A World Of Options, Opportunities, and Secrets, Just By Asking Better Questions"

Types of Questions

(Rough Draft - 05/07/09)

Asking better questions that are deeper and more meaningful, will enhance your communication skills, problem-solving skills, conversation skills, morale, and confidence.

If you are shy or often at a loss for words, asking better questions will also lead you to get the person you're conversing with to open up and be a little more expressive (and telling). They will also make you more versatile in your conversations and expand your ability to start new and interesting conversations.

There are many good sites on "asking better questions" and "how to ask better questions". Use your resources and seek them out.

Look for "probing questions" also.

Many "probing" questions are usually started with "How", "Why", and "What". (And I'm sure there are others).

Asking questions that begin with these types of words will help you to dig deeper into the conversation - and extend the depth of the conversation - by giving the other person (and you) more detail about the subject and more to talk about.

For example, let's take a "plain-Jane-yes-or-no-question" and put it up against a deep "probing" question...

Let's use a cake in this example.

Plain Questions

Probing Questions

Do you like cake?

Why do you like cake?

How much does that cake cost?

Damn, why in the hell does that cake cost so much?

Are you going to eat that cake?

What are you going to do with that cake? Why?

Did you throw that last cake away?

How did you get rid of that last cake?

If you don't like it, can I have it?

What did you think of that last cake you ate?

Do you think you can eat all of that cake by yourself?

What can I do to get my hands on some that cake?

That's a huge cake isn't it?

That's a whole lot of cake for one person. Why do you suppose they made that cake so big?

Probing Questions don't allow the person you're talking to give you a "yes" or "no" answer all the time. Probing Questions forces them to think about their answer - or at least respond in longer sentences. Probing Questions also pave the way for you to keep your conversations flowing and interesting.

If you aren't using "probing" questions like I was a few weeks back, then you're putting a limit on your communication skills and creative skills. You're not fully exploring the world around you - which is what "asking better questions" and "probing" questions will help you do.

Many books and "Self-Help" Gurus don't tell you this, but ALL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ASK BETTER QUESTIONS.

Just start using that philosophy in your personal life, your business, school, or during romantic conversations, and you will improve your life by astronomical proportions!

BUT, YOU MUST ASK BETTER QUESTIONS OFTEN!

Ask better questions of yourself and of your own thoughts and the answers will increase your Enlightenment and Game.

Asking better questions will also help you better understand yourself and help you discover what you want out of life and what your calling in life is.

They aid you in your research to whatever it is you're looking for and can expand the depth of any topic or conversation by more than a 1000%.

It's true.

By asking better questions, you also tap into a person's true feelings and emotions about other people, places, things, ideas, and interests.

And the beauty of it is... Learning these questions are easy. They are all around you. They are inside of you waiting to be unleashed. All you have to do is use them and you will see your conversation skills begin to improve.

Open your eyes, mind, and ears, and look for them. Meditate. Think about how they can help you gain a deeper understanding of what others are talking about or experiencing.

Don't Assume...

Let the other person speak for him or herself. If you really want to know what's going on in his or her mind, don't try to lead him or her to give you the answers YOU want - or THINK are "right". Confirming the person's response by repeating what they've said or what you think you've heard is cool, but don't forget to ask a "probing question" after you confirm from them what they are actually saying.

Examples of Confirmation:

"Let me get this straight. Are you saying that you (saw; heard; told; spoke to; feel; think)..."

"Is that how you really feel about this situation?"

"So, you're telling me that you (think; believe; feel like; saw; overheard)..."

After you confirm what the other person is saying - without "putting words in his or her mouth" - then ask the question...

Examples:

Sally: "Are you saying that you think he's cheating on you?"

Mae: "Yes. I think he is."

Sally: "Why do you feel like that?"

"What makes you think he's cheating?" (How do you know?)

Then, the "probing question":

"Why do you think he would do something like that?"

"How did you find out about this?"

"What clues did you notice?"

"What do you think he's missing in the relationship?"

"Has he been behaving strange lately?"

"Who told you he was cheating?" (Why do you believe her?)

And there are many other questions that can be asked. All you have to do is use your imagination and KNOW WHY YOU'RE ASKING THE QUESTIONS THAT YOU'RE ASKING. Is it to help you? Is it to help the person vent? Is it to help the person discover solutions (or deal with) their problems? Whatever it is...

Remember: You're a Player, and that's what Players do. Players try to help others find Solutions. Therefore, use your Game to help yourself and/or to help others. Asking better questions is the key.

Make moves.

Use your questions to help you explore the World around you, The Universe, Love, Your Inner Self, and your own Thoughts and Beliefs.

Whatever is on your mind, asking better questions will help you explore it more in depth and give you a better understanding of it.

This will tighten up your Game and take your Personal Vibe and Confidence to the next level.

Keep your pimp-hand strong

and keep it pimpin'...

"Elevate Your Mind, Body, and Soul..."

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