An Aspiring Player drops some Game on a "young diva" who is struggling with depression and realization of her true identity.



The Question:

How can I go back to the way I was before?

I used be a really fun and amusing person but throughout high school, that side of just dropped bcuz i went thru a lot w/ my parents and i had anxiety attacks and personal problems and everyone says i'm rly serious now - but that's not my real personality. i'm a different person than how I act and I don't know what to do....I feel like I have a dual personality and I just want to go back to before because it's not enjoyable being this way! But how can I? It's not easy. I hate my all-girls school and most of my friends I don't plan on talking to after graduation....maybe I just need a change of friends & scenery?

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The Response:

I was having the same trouble myself for a while (I'm talking years). You may want to talk to a counselor. I didn't go that route because I didn't want anyone to think I was a "nut" or "going through depression", or whatever, but I should've. The thing about me was: I just felt out of place. I didn't want to hang out with any of my close friends, I didn't want to be bothered with my parents, relatives, or any kind of work, or the people at work... or, whatever. I just wanted to think, daydream, or sleep. I was boring, miserable, reclusive, and I wasn't sure why.

But then I thought about it and made a list...

What was missing out of my life? What was irritating me? Why don't I like dealing with certain people? What did I want? What did I need? What did I want to accomplish? What is it that really makes me happy? What gives me my swagger and confidence?

A lot of times, lack of personal power, confidence, money, or goals make us unhappy. Sometimes trying to please other people before we please ourselves makes us unhappy.

Are you living the life that you want to live? Or... Are you forced to live the life that someone else wants you to live?

I wouldn't recommend breaking any rules, doing anything dangerous, or upsetting your parents or friends, but you have to live your own life. You can't let other people make you feel inferior, or shy, or inadequate, or afraid to speak your mind.

But maybe you're not feeling like yourself because you really DO want to be somewhere other than where you are now.

My problem was: I wanted more money, independence, and a loyal companion. But to do it, I had to take chances, stand-up for myself, and not worry about making other people happy before I made myself happy.

I saved a lot, got a better job, met a nice girl where I now work, and I say and do whatever I want no matter how crazy or funny or "off the chain" I seem to be. (Sometimes people think I'm an oddball, little weird, or eccentric - whatever.)

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you should play games with your life - get your education and keep moving up like a True Diva should - but realize that everything you're doing, you're doing for YOURSELF - Not your parents, or friends, or whoever. Make yourself happy first. SAY WHATEVER THE (blank) YOU WANNA SAY, no matter who laughs or doesn't laugh.

If you're such a serious person now, be a cynical and sarcastic person but know how to spread love too. If you want to tell jokes, learn some new ones. Watch some comedy shows. Hang out with people that make you laugh and who will entertain and amuse you (Sometimes a Diva needs a fool or two to make her smile.).

But a change of scenery is sometimes only a quick-fix. Try to change your attitude first. Try to be a success with your work and life, but change your attitude. What are you anxious about? Money? A relationship? Your appearance? Being popular?

Realize what you want and SAVE or SACRIFICE to get it. Be a go-getter. Hustle and handle your business. And, don't worry about trying to impress other people. Try to impress your SELF.